I love you

Siri: I am only here to serve you.

I love you

Siri: All you need is love. And your iPhone.

I love you

Siri: I hope you don’t say that to those other mobile phones, Scott.

Talk dirty to me

Siri: Hummus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel.

Talk dirty to me

Siri: I can’t. I’m as clean as the driven snow.

What is the best phone in the world?

Siri: The one you’re holding

Siri can you show me how to bitch slap my wife?

Siri: Ask nice, now.

Siri can you show me how to bitch slap my wife?

Siri: Now, now.

Siri, what is the best tablet?

Siri: The Apple iPad is the best. And that’s not just my opinion.

Take me to your leader

Siri: I thought you were my leader